My story
APRIL 22, 2008 - News... again!
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Hi all,
Let's just say that I just experienced one of the worst weeks of my life! I was finally able to know what the limits of my courage and my spirits were because I must admit that I have had several moments of anxiety and discouragement over the last week. Jon has once again found his way to my heart and my husband has once again found a way to comfort me in order for me to hold on until today's appointment with my surgeon. I was so tired of having elastics that didn't allow me to open my mouth! I have had a hard time resting all week long, mostly during the night, because there was always something wrong: earache, weird taste in my mouth, anxiety of still having my teeth stuck together, etc.
When I arrived at my surgeon's clinic, I had to go have other X-rays taken at my orthodontist's clinic. When the receptionists saw me, they had compassion in their eyes. I didn't wait at all in the waiting room, and while I was waiting for copies of the X-rays, my orthodontist passed in the hallway. She had a glance at my X-rays, and she told me that they were extraordinary. She put a hand on my back and she also advised me to go grab something to eat! Hahaha She wanted me to keep my appointment with her on May 2 that was intended to restart my orthodontic treatments in case I have something to adjust in my mouth.
When I went back to my surgeon's clinic, I didn't wait long in the waiting room; one of my surgeon's assistants came to bring me in one of the examination rooms so I would be more comfortable. When my surgeon saw me, he said: "Hey, so do you want to kill me for what I put you through??" When I shook his hand as usual, I told him: "No, in fact, I would like to apologize for what happened this past weekend!" During one of my anxiety episodes, I asked my husband to call my surgeon on his cell phone at 2h am Saturday night because I was experiencing all sorts of unpleasant things, such as nausea and weird secretions coming out of my mouth... Since then, I was feeling very bad for disturbing him like that in the middle of the night. Knowing what it is like to live with someone who is on call and by knowing how hard it is to go back to sleep after being woken up by the phone, calling my surgeon was really the last thing I wanted to do.
As soon as my surgeon understood what I wanted to say, he stopped me right away to tell me that I had made the right decision by calling him because it's his job, he's on call 24/7 for this kind of things. In short, I felt better right away after his explanations.
When he asked me how I was doing, my voice broke as soon as I started telling him that I had found the last 7 days very difficult. The last thing I wanted was to burst into tears in front of him like that, but he saw right away how this second surgery had affected me and he comforted me the best he could by handing me tissues, by taking my wrist very gently and by telling me that I had to go through the same tough surgery not once but twice and that all my anxiety episodes and all the distress I had experienced were completely normal.
Without making me suffer even more, he removed my elastics and the stitches on my cheeks and as soon as he finished, he saw that everything was OK, I don't even need to wear small elastics like last time to ensure that my jaws stay at the right place! My mouth doesn't open as wide as it did 2 weeks ago, but at least it opens and closes at the right place. I'm no longer under the impression that my lower jaw is pulled backwards by itself anymore. However, it's weird because my mouth hasn't closed that way before, and my muscles not being used to making my mouth close like that, it seems like everything is so tense in my face, preventing me from relaxing my face. It seems like I'm always forcing without wanting it. I should have felt this tension during my recovery after my first surgery. My face is still swollen, I have applied a lot of moist heat to the bottom of my face since the second surgery, I will have to continue doing so for the next few days to help getting rid of my earaches. And to my great relief, my wounds are not infected; I really thought that I felt something strange in my mouth with a weird taste I had with this feeling.
My surgeon also asked me how my husband had dealt with the second surgery and this whole experience. I told him what my husband had told me in the hospital; that I had to be a little crazy and very courageous to have gone through all this a second time. I don't know if it's the kind of thing that my surgeon was expecting to hear, but at least, he smiled. He told me that he would have liked to tell me that he never has to redo parts of a surgery, but unfortunately, it can happen, but it's unfortunate when it happens. I'm under the impression that he is feeling really bad that he had to do this to me a second time. However, I told him that it was great for him that I didn't have more time to think about it (I learned that I had to go through another surgery and within 24 hours, I ended up in the hospital for this second surgery!) because I'm not sure I would have done it. He told me that when he makes a decision, he takes action very quickly. Like one of my friends wrote in an email, it was very quick! :)
While my surgeon was opening my file to look at my new X-rays, I told him that I had to do something that I didn't think I would longer need to do in my life to lift up my spirits. When he asked me what it was, I said: "Blast some Bon Jovi music in the house!" He bursted out laughing and he told me that he shouldn't laugh because it wasn't a funny situation, but he thought it was funny anyhow. And at the same time, he said: "Yeah, I remember you telling me about them before you were put to sleep in the hospital!" I therefore got the confirmation that I had talked about Jon and I told him that I wasn't sure if I had dreamed that or if it had really happened... I feel like I'm a woman on a mission these days because I need to tell everyone around me about me being a Bon Jovi fan! I also told him that I've been a fan for 15 years, so it's a sure thing for me to count on them to lift up my spirits! If I had listened to myself, I would have played every album one after the other, even during the night; it was the only thing that got me to relax! However, I said that even if Jon would hold my hand throughout the surgery and throughout the first week of recovery, I wouldn't do it again! He said: "Oh, don't worry, I won't operate on you again, that's for sure!"
My surgeon's assistant gave me a small toothbrush with a little embedded toy to amuse kids so it would be easier for me to brush my teeth. When I saw the little toy, I said: "Ooh, a little game!" My surgeon seemed amused that I was reacting that way and he told his assistant: "Oh well, anything to lift up the spirits! We surely have something in the kid surprises cabinet too..." Without thinking any further, I immediately asked: "Is it Jon?!" HA HA HA At least, I got them all laughing!
After brushing my teeth, my surgeon asked his assistant to go get my husband in the waiting room after asking me what his name was. In the meantime, I asked my surgeon for some explanations on the "complications" that happened during the surgery. He seemed surprised that I used the word "complication", so he asked me to be more precise. I then said that my husband had told me that I had healed too fast. He then said that I had healed like a young healthy woman. When I sat down again on the examination chair, I told my surgeon that I was sending an email to almost everyone I knew every time there was any new development in my story. He then told me: "I hope that you didn't say my name, did you??!!" hahaha Of course I did! He seemed a little shy and embarrassed because he had to redo a part of his surgery on me, but I reassured him by telling him that some of you had said that I was lucky to have a surgeon who was so responsible and was taking such good care of me. He seemed a little bit more reassured.
My husband came in and my surgeon explained to us what he did during the second surgery. In short, he removed the plates and screws from my lower jaw to replace everything with 2 screws on each side of my lower jaw. The new screws are the reason why my surgeon was unfortunately forced to go through my cheeks to place them. When I told him about my facial muscles that are still very tense, my surgeon compared my case to someone having a cast on their arm. When the cast is removed, the arm doesn't start to function normally again right away! I told my husband that I had told my surgeon that even if Jon would hold my hand, I wouldn't go through it all a third time. My husband seemed discouraged that I was still talking about Jon, so I told my surgeon that I was lucky to have a husband that is not jealous! Hahaha My surgeon stepped in to say that the odds were with my husband and since I don't know Jon personally, chances were very slim of me leaving my husband for Jon overnight! hahaha
I will decide when I return to work at the office when my energy level is back. In the meantime, I can restart doing some telework whenever I feel like it as long as I'm in shape and up for it. I told my surgeon that before I do anything, I needed to eat because my jeans are very loose. (I showed him how much!)
My next appointment with my surgeon is on May 1, I already had an appointment scheduled that day before I knew about the second surgery. He will be able to see then how I am. But the spirits seem to be back with all the silliness that I have said since I have left his clinic! One can always know if I'm feeling well with how much I can tell funny things!
Have a nice week!
Marie-Hélène
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